Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Men and reality — not as close as you think!

Men have traditionally promoted themselves as the keepers of true reality.

We all know that women in general are not thought of (by too many — still) as capable of balanced and realistic thought. Women are too flighty... too emotional... susceptible to hormone based irrational behavior unsuitable for the business world, the political world — you know... chicks are responsible for temptation and manipulation of men... duplicitous and untruthful behavior... all sorts of bullshit.

Yet, I can't help wonder what is responsible for the male love of pornography, the male drive to create artificial women, the male love of vicariously experienced sports, the male obsession with "progress" and "new."

As a woman, I've been the victim of the male tendency to comfortably warp another's reality. Any woman who has had a guy try to weasel you into having an affair with them, or had a guy warp your world by acting like they love you while carrying on a completely different life behind your back, you are the victim of an abusive tendency that is made possible by the lack of relationship that many men have with reality.

I think that testosterone is a fantasy oriented hormone. Estrogen as a hormone MUST compel a more complete connection to reality. Women, to nurture as they are compelled to do by estrogen, MUST have a better connection to reality. Men, who are compelled by testosterone to fuck as many women as possible, generally have to be more fantasy oriented — because fantasy is nature's way of driving men to fuck more women than they really have to.

I'm not saying that women don't fantasize, but is seems quite clear to me that men are far more comfortable warping another's reality. Affairs are not just about fucking someone else... they are in a very real way a warping of a woman's concept of the reality of the relationship that they are in. Noone likes having their reality warped... men will actually kill women based only on their distorted fantasies of what a woman is doing. I've been in relationships where men totally think I am having an affair, talking behind their back... and men don't just pester with their irrational fantasies, they involve violence and actual destruction — far more than women. You think Elin would still be alive if Tiger Woods had had babies for her and found out later that she'd had affairs with tons of porn stars? Get real. She'd be dead.

The huge amount of domestic violence is really about male lack of relationship to reality than anything else. I am not blaming men for this — I blame testosterone. I truly do think more and more that testosterone as a hormonal influence is not conducive to a good relationship to reality. That is why men have historically projected their own bullshit onto women, and why abusive men project their own bullshit onto women. I have far too often had to listen to a man who lies like a carpet accuse me of lying, I've experienced incredibly manipulative men define me as a master of manipulation... it just defies reality sometimes. Hello?

The recent election involving Carl Paladino in New York State is a good example of the sort of unbalance I am writing about here. He consistently accused Andrew Cuomo of things that only he himself was guilty of. Across the board, Carl would just ignore his own reality and see it in Andrew Cuomo.

Not only that — but when the actual results of this particular election became public, it was revealed than only the male voters were evenly split in their voting between these two candidates. Black, female, and other minority voters seemed more able to judge the bullshit for what it was in this election. Yes, they were offended more personally by Paladino's bizarre rants, but I think there is more to the voting patterns than that. I believe men in general are less likely to spot such outrageous behavior (as Paladino showed us) for what it is. Why did male voters have such a hard time discerning crazy behavior?

In most men, it is easier to get to know them by how they talk of others... women are guilty of this behavior as well, but not as comfortably, or invisibly, and they just aren't as dangerous.

Women fantasize, but, historically, women's fantasies are not generally those that are involved with the illusion of progress or that actually DRIVE culture as male fantasies and desires do. If they DID, there'd be a huge wedding/babies section in newspapers, like the sports pages. The world is driven by male fantasies... in entertainment, in religion, in the space program... just so much of the culture on this planet is driven by male fantasies... for now.

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